Side Effects

Having children causes, among other things, brain damage.

I know this because I have more than one child.

You see, this brain damage leads to memory loss, and this memory loss leads to us saying crazy things like:

“Let’s have more kids.”

This brain damage is very important, though. Without it, we wouldn’t continue to populate the world with more little people. Little people who will grow to one day become brain damaged themselves so that the cycle may continue. I think it’s called the ‘Circle of Life’. Elton John wrote a song about it.

You can readily see the effects of this damage in grandparents. Watch them play with your kids. Watch them dote on them and laugh at the Crayola masterpiece on the wall (not hanging on the wall, ON the wall). It’s all fun and games to the grandparents. Fun and games because they’re severely brain damaged. Do they not remember? It’s like they actually want to be around these kids!

I’m about to have my third kid, which means I’m basically a lost cause. The sanity train sailed long ago. I talk to myself a lot. There are days where I roam around the house with a diaper and a copy of “Goodnight Moon” and I have no idea what I’m doing. I have this dream where I’m being chased by Barney the dinosaur and I can’t get my legs to move.

Every now and then, though, I have a moment where I realize that all this brain damage isn’t so bad after all. It sometimes comes from the mundane. Sometimes from the unexpected. Yesterday it came during church. My son let loose a tremendous, multi-octave, staccato fart in the middle of Mass. Didn’t see that coming did you? Anyway, it was embarrassingly hilarious. And it was a not-so-gentle reminder that, as long as I’ve got these monkeys running around the house, there will always be laughter.

I love to laugh. I love my kids.


About agreen81

I'm a father of three. I write software. I play music.
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