I usually get to be captain of the bathtime-fun ship. I’m still not sure how I drew the short straw on that one.

I have learned the following about bathtime:

If you don’t put toys in the tub – they will make toys. Often, you will not be happy with the results.

Putting one toy in the tub, with two kids in the tub, is like begging for a UFC cage fight.

Accidentally pouring water on your two year old’s face is like accidentally pouring oil from a deep fryer on your two year old’s face.

Water is wet. Probably not news to you and me, but sometimes news to a two year old.

If you use a cup/bowl/whatever to rinse your kids with, guard it with your life. If it falls into the wrong hands, it becomes a weapon of mass destruction.

Remove any and all diapers only when you are ready to immediately place the kid in the tub.

Don’t let them figure out that emptying a shampoo bottle’s contents into the tub makes bubbles.

Things that normally have to be repeated twice outside the tub have to be repeated ten times inside the tub, e.g. “please don’t pull your sister’s hair”.

They cry when they have to get IN the tub and they cry when they have to get OUT of the tub.

Clean kids are slippery.

Kids stay clean for approximately 5 minutes.


About agreen81

I'm a father of three. I write software. I play music.
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